Last year I was pregnant with my first child. My husband and I were
euphoric with the arrival of our first baby. We were in the process of buying a beautiful new home and working very hard to achieve our goals as most couples do. We were so excited with the pregnancy that we decided to let the baby's sex be a surprise for delivery day. Everyone kept insisting it was a girl. All the old wives tales of your carrying to high, too low, too wide, to pointy, and on and on. I had no clue as to whether it was a boy or girl
until into my 5th month I had a dream with a pair of blue booties and
awoke the next morning convinced that it was a boy. I picked out a boys name Richard Anthony and convinced my husband that it was a boy. My father placed a bet with my husband that it was a girl. Obviously he lost.

At this time there was a lot of problems, turmoil if you will with some
of my family members, especially my sister and step mother.
We had been feuding over decisions that had been made about godparents
at the time of her son's birth that really hurt me. Since becoming pregnant, we had occasionally begun talking to each other. At 1 week short of my seventh month I began to feel bad, somewhat week, my husband was asleep as I lay on the couch feeling worse each minute. I decided to go take a shower and see if I felt any better. As I emerged from the bathroom my husband awoke and asked what happened, by now I could hardly keep
my balance. He turned on the light and said that I looked very gray. I
of course did not see myself that way. We decided to go to the hospital since it was a Friday evening and we did not want to wait till Monday. I can't say that I felt bad enough to go to the hospital, just strange.

When I arrived at the hospital I must have looked pretty awful cause I
didn't even have to wait , they had me taken up to Labor/Delivery STATE. The nurses called my doctor and began running a series of test. The fetal monitor indicated a strong heart beat, that of course was my main concern. After some tests and me coming in and out of conciousness, the doctors discovered I had septicemia. That is when an infection goes into the blood stream. The problem was that it was in my blood on the way to my
heart and was going to kill me in a matter of 1-2 hours max. They knew
the baby had the infection also. Apparently I was leaking amniotic fluid for a period of approximately three weeks without any evidence, it
appeared to have leaked in my urine. After the neo-natologists and
several what seemed to be hundreds of doctors saw me they decided the only way to save my life was to induce labor, the probability of the child surviving was less than .005%. By retaining the baby we would both surely die. My husband of course wanted to save me, I wanted to save the baby.

By this time my father, step-mother, sister and a few close friends were
present. Everyone trying to convince me to allow the induction of the labor. I wouldn't hear of it. I was ready to die to give this child life and then my heart stopped.....All I remember was the vision of what we know as
the guardian angel with her beautiful wings wide open standing in a
glowing light that gave me warmth waiting for my son she said,
not me. My husband says that life came back into me and shortly there
after my baby was born. My beautiful little angel took one
breath before he died.

I reached out and asked the nurse to give me my son, Richard Anthony.
She asked how I knew it was a boy, as everyone else did.....I replied an angel told me she was waiting for him and that I had to let him go....his purpose in life on earth as we know it had been completed. The days and weeks that followed left me not only in a severe anemic state but severely depressed as I kept reliving the whole ordeal in my mind a trying to figure out why? I believe that Richard Anthony's purpose was to bring peace in my life again and he has. My sister and I share the relationship we always
had, my stepmother saw me through the whole delivery and the weeks and months to follow.

My husband and I are closer than ever. So this angel brought peace into
my life. I recently had a dream where I was pregnant. I too take that as a message since I have become very afraid of becoming pregnant again. I am considering trying this again next year. This story is true and perhaps therapeutic for me his mom as the 1 year anniversary of his death approaches on December 15.